the morrow

The flash fiction medium is fine for this piece. I won't say anything about the first sentence...you've already been harped on for that enough :wink: I don't think splitting it ...

Impressions -First paragraph: the first sentence is a little prosaic. It doesn't do much to hook the reader. It's also odd when the detached and omniscient narrator contradicts himself/herself--"it wa

Good pacing; my usually fleeting interest was preserved the whole way through. Two suggestions: 1. Mention the weather of the place. This may help to solidify the mood. 2. Leo ...

Short and juicy. The imagery brings some concrete footing to an otherwise abstract topic.

Hello, I'm a writer looking for somebody (please-for-the-love-of-god) to give me some constructive feedback. :)

My Humanity is My Own I release you now from my keep. You, crutch of the mind, fetter of my soul. I no longer tread the crude paths you once ...